"Get up, son. It's 9 o'clock! You don't have office today? Get up!" I woke up startled. My phone was making the same old irritating sound; the sound of the daily alarm that I had set a couple of weeks back. I looked at the time and it was 9 am. Damn! I'm late even today. I looked around the empty 2 BHK apartment, my mom was not there. It was just a dream, her soothing voice calling me out. I missed her. I quickly wrapped up my routine chores and by 10 was on my way to office.
Traffic in the city at this hour was quite crazy. The constant honking and playing clutch-break-clutch-break would generally make you lose your cool. But today, it felt different. Traffic gave me time to think; think about the dream I had in the morning, think about my mom. I missed her. I could feel my eyes getting wet. Living alone will be fun, I want to try it. Till when will you look out for me? I want my freedom. This conversation that I had with her was constantly playing in the back of my mind, like a song in loop. This song however was depressing. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. But, these mistakes did not feel like a mistake while I was doing them. Age, I thought. Blame it on age, raging hormones, desires, lust... the list was endless. I've had my fare share of fun as well. But now, when I look back, there is a cloud of emotions which bring me nothing but guilt and regret. There have been moments when I wished if there was ever a key to turn back time, I would just use it and start all over again.I wish I could have done more, be a better son, a better lover or perhaps a better person.
This is my ode to remembrance but the path that I have chosen to walk now does not have a u-turn. I will walk this path without guilt, regret and remorse to achieve what I have set out to achieve. And maybe someday, when I look back in time, there will be nothing but gratitude.
Traffic in the city at this hour was quite crazy. The constant honking and playing clutch-break-clutch-break would generally make you lose your cool. But today, it felt different. Traffic gave me time to think; think about the dream I had in the morning, think about my mom. I missed her. I could feel my eyes getting wet. Living alone will be fun, I want to try it. Till when will you look out for me? I want my freedom. This conversation that I had with her was constantly playing in the back of my mind, like a song in loop. This song however was depressing. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. But, these mistakes did not feel like a mistake while I was doing them. Age, I thought. Blame it on age, raging hormones, desires, lust... the list was endless. I've had my fare share of fun as well. But now, when I look back, there is a cloud of emotions which bring me nothing but guilt and regret. There have been moments when I wished if there was ever a key to turn back time, I would just use it and start all over again.I wish I could have done more, be a better son, a better lover or perhaps a better person.
This is my ode to remembrance but the path that I have chosen to walk now does not have a u-turn. I will walk this path without guilt, regret and remorse to achieve what I have set out to achieve. And maybe someday, when I look back in time, there will be nothing but gratitude.
